Unbecoming to Become (how to move through transitions)
Updated: Nov 5, 2019
Ah, transitions. It’s safe to say that growth is an uncomfortable process and our pain is a necessary investment for that growth. I’m speaking about the transition to life after trauma. My growth as a person started after the loss of my pregnancy with my son, my grandparents, and my brother in law - all within a year.
For most of us, change happens when an extremely emotional event has occurred. Trauma can be one of our biggest catalysts for movement whether it’s unconscious or conscious. We must remember that awareness is the key to consciousness. Our brain is a beautiful and complicated creature that becomes so involved in every step of our transition. We have to understand what happens to our brain when we are in emotional pain. When we step into this reality of fight, flight, or freeze mode we are activating our amygdala which is one of the most ancient parts of our brain also known as the reptilian brain. This is our survival mode and it happens unconsciously. While we are in shock, our brain is working hard to process this fear that has been created. It’s this foundation point of fear that affects how we process this pain that will continue.
Then the hypothalamus kicks in which is our command center. It will carry out the commands of one of those three (or all) modes. These neural pathways are created - a blueprint in our brain that tells us how we respond to stress or sadness that revolves around the trauma. For me, it was seeing women who were pregnant or listening to my friends talking about trying for a baby. My face would get hot, my heart would beat fast, and everything hurt. Becoming conscious of that control center I was able to take the wheel in terms of my reactions. Sometimes I stepped away from the conversation or create space to share how my heart was doing. Most of the time, I would turn around and cry and that's okay. I met myself where I was at in the moment and I continue to do so. What we have to realize is that we will feel this pain - but we can choose how to move through life with it.
To be mindful of the Mind, Body, and Spirit connection when trauma happens is the first step of taking the wheel of this transition in life. The pain and fear are inevitable but being aware and embracing them can lead to an outcome where you have become a partner with your brain. Switching from unconscious to conscious healing.
Are you ready to take this journey?